This week I came down with a common cold (Rhinovirus is just one of hundreds of common cold viruses that have been identified). Since I got little sleep last night due to my discomfort I was lying awake thinking of the inconvenience of it all (see list below) in addition to the obvious incessant sneezing, runny nose, sore throat and headache.1. A large box of tissues (even with 3 ply it still takes two at a time) must be taken with you EVERYWHERE you go - even while just going briefly from room to room at home.
2. It is necessary to wear a robe or jacket with pockets OR have a trash bin nearby for disposing of used tissues.
3. If you sleep on your right side, that nostril clogs up completely. In order to clear it up you turn to sleep on your left side, causing that nostril to clog up completely.
4. Trying to blow your nose to clear out the clog causes your ears to pop rather painfully.
5. Cold medicine takes about one half hour to take effect. The clock deliberately slows down while you are waiting.
6. After the cold medicine takes effect you need a full time attendant to tap you on the shoulder reminding you to breathe and keep your mouth closed. While in this zombi-like state, do not wander far from the defibrillator.
7. Thinking clearly or attempting to converse is futile.
8. 24 hours after onset of the illness you have no skin to speak of left on the end of your nose. There is a 3 month wait for the plastic surgeon to perform skin grafts.
9. Sleeping with your mouth open is very unhealthy for the mucous membranes in the mouth and throat and in their own defense they produce a sticky glop that can only be removed with vigorous tongue and tooth brushing and swishing of strong mouthwash. Doing this several times a night cuts down on sleep time.
10. Sneezing with a full bladder causes a whole new set of problems.
When I got up this morning I checked the stock value of Kimberly-Clark. I am thinking seriously of investing. With cold season coming on, it can only go up. After many millennia there is still no vaccination or cure for cold viruses.
4 comments:
To deal with #8 I love love love Puffs tissues with lotion. They saved my nose last month when I had the dripping nose syndrome too. Unfortunately I started using them after the chafing started, but they helped to make things better.
Hope you feel better soon.
When I have a cold I don't care where the tissues end up. I usually just throw them on the floor!
So,what happens if you sleep on your back?
I would much rather be sick than be all floopy from cold meds!
And buy Lansinoh for that nose!!!!
I'm sorry mommy. I'll get you some puffs with lotion when I go out this morning. I was going to suggest them too. The lotion makes my upper lip sweat (????) but they'll keep the plastic surgion away. I hope you feel better.
I love the picture. Don't we wish we looked that pretty when we had colds?? I mean look at the bounce in her hair and all of that lipstick she still has on! That must've been what it was like to have a cold in the 50's? :)
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